Is it possible to just have casual hookup without generating any emotional attachment and feelings? This is not a question with only one answer. This article is mainly targeted at heterosexual females. Let me be more specific, is it possible for females to engage in feelingless sexual experience and gain physical gratification?
From my perspective, the answer is negative in 99% circumstances. I define accidental tinder hookup as lovemaking or any form of sexual contact, instead of making out with someone you don’t have any emotional bond with. Just like meeting a guy in the street with dashing and flirty smile. He said something really nice, but you also know that he has said it for so many times to so many girls. Or a person who you have known for a while. He often texts you and ask you to hang out, but never for a real date. Or a person you once had a crush on. Although he is unapproachable to some degree, but there is no denial for the chemical reaction between you.
Most girls won’t go directly into a one night hookup without any expectations or hearting-winning stimulations. Why? Let’s start from biological explanation. When we contact with men in any form from a hug to lovemaking, our body would release a kind of hormone named oxytocin, which stimulate our emotion towards the guy who triggers its’ liberation. If you think you are fully capable of flirting meaninglessly, or you are not interested in him at all, oxytocin can really alter everything. Even if you are not interested in seeing him, you will want to hear his voice. If you are interested, oxytocin will make you feel stronger. You might keep checking your phone and see if you missed any information and then find yourself distracted by him. These all can happen very naturally.
When we make body contact, due to the hormone change inside our body, our emotional bond is magnified, because we are emotional creatures, which should be respected and proud of.
When a girl engages in BBW dating without bringing up what she wants and setting boundaries, she might be having a hookup outbreak. Such outbreak is caused by the sudden surge of hormone. While there is no one to vent, you might feel desperate, sad, anger guilt or ashamed, because a huge amount of oxytocin is release while there is no vessel to hold.
I head a lot of regretful stories and I feel painful and depressed to hear them every time. They are so fragile after being turned down and regretful after hooking up. If you ever felt this way before in your life, let me tell you, this is totally normal. You have done nothing wrong. This is only human nature that everyone will experience in some phases of life. Regret and self-judgement will only make you feel worse. You should embrace it and get it over with.